Sexual Abuse

I would spend most of my summers in New Brunswick with my sister and her family. She had 3 children, all born in 1966. She could use all the help possible. I was
only 7 years old when they were born. I remember washing their cloth diapers in a big outdoor tub of hot water. At one point, they had a small canteen on the side of their house. They would serve small meals, like hotdogs, hamburgers, French fries, etc. They also had lots of candy. I would help there, too. I guess I was about 12,
and the kids were 5.

One day, after taking the kids swimming at my grandparent’s lake, which was passed on to my uncles, my niece said that my Uncle had touched her near her private parts. Suddenly, I had a flashback of the same thing happening to me. I was probably around the same age, and he had taken me into the woods to show
me his parts and how they worked. That is how he explained it. I guess I had buried those memories. I then told my sister what her daughter had said, and she was furious. She took off in her car and headed to my Uncle’s. I don’t know what was said, but I’m sure it wasn’t anything nice. I only found out many years later that
my sister had been sexually abused for years by this same Uncle. I asked her why she never told my mother, and she said she probably wouldn’t have believed her.

My sister had mentioned the sexual abuse she went through to her husband, who was an alcoholic, and he said that she probably asked for it and deserved it. How can anyone think you deserve to be raped as an innocent child? They even allowed this Uncle to come to their home and visit. I don’t know what my sister was thinking. There is no way that man would have ever come near my kids or into my home.

I only found out in 2017 that my mother had also been sexually abused by this same Uncle, who was her older brother. She only mentioned it to me because I talked about how my sisters and others had been sexually abused. I was in shock! He sexually abused her for years, and she never told her parents. She said I was
the first one she ever told. At this point, my mother was near the end of her life. I asked her why she never told her mother, and she gave me the same response that my sister had given me, “I didn’t think she would believe me”. She said her brothers were everything to their mother, and she would probably call my mother a liar and give her a beating. How sad is that?

I’m glad she finally told someone before she died. She said it took a huge weight off
her chest. Poor woman held onto that secret for over 80 years.

I knew I had to open up this subject and finally expose the truth. When they say, “It runs in the family”, you tell them, “and this is where it runs out.”

Unfortunately, this Uncle had already passed. I was hoping that talking to different family members about the sexual abuse that many of them had suffered would help them with their healing. It turned out that there were more victims than I ever imagined. Some were from the same Uncle, and others were from my mother’s other brother.

My mother’s sister had gotten pregnant (around 1939) at a very young age. It was hidden from everyone, and my mother grew up thinking her nephew was her younger brother. My grandmother told everyone it was her son. The curious ones must have figured it out and not said anything because my grandmother had another boy only 6 days later. It’s not like they were passed off as twins, not that my mother ever mentioned, so I don’t understand how people or family didn’t figure it out. My mother only found out the truth when she was around 35.

Her nephew/brother was told when his mother’s husband had died in 1964, and the cat was let out of the bag. I believe that he went to live with his mother after that. I’m
sure my grandmother was not happy with this turn of events. My Aunt never told anyone who the father was, but my mother believed it was her brother. She said that the nephew looked too much like her brother, and after finding out that he was also
sexually abusing young girls, she figured it was him.

People didn’t talk about this kind of stuff in those days, and unfortunately, my aunt passed away before my mother could ask her who the father was. I don’t think her nephew ever knew either. He was just happy to know she was his mother. She also had girls who were also abused by these uncles. I’m unsure if she knew, but it was always kept a secret until these uncles died.

The reason I write about this is because,
"It’s up to us to break generational curses!"