The loss of a loved one

In June of 1995, my mother-in-law, who had been dealing with congestive heart failure for years, died. Congestive heart failure is a hard disease to watch someone go through. They start to lose their independence once they need the assistance of oxygen. This was no exception for my mother-in-law Doris. For the last three years of her life, she was on oxygen from home, and she hated that it restricted her so much. She would call the tube that attached to her nose from the tank her dog leash. She could no longer enjoy going on long trips, which she did many times, or going to the opera. She eventually got a portable tank, but that would only allow her to go out for a few hours. At least she could still come to our house for dinner and a short visit. The children probably only remember her like that.

We were all heartbroken because she was such an amazing person. She was not only my mother-in-law but my best friend. We could talk about everything. She never judged me and was always supportive.

My 1st son also took this very hard. He adored her, and I think he didn’t realize that people eventually die. It was something that he never had to deal with. She was the first person he was so close to that had died. He was 10 years old and suddenly became so afraid of losing me too. I couldn’t even go out for a walk; he would cry when I would leave. He wouldn’t go on school field trips, so the teachers would invite Kevin and me to go along. I had always been very involved at the school, so the teachers knew me and understood the situation. It was not an overnight fix, either. It became so bad that we finally went to see a physiologist. I was told I needed to leave him more often so he could see that I was always returning. That is when I decided to start skiing during the weekdays. It was not easy, but with patience and time, it all worked out.        

My son and his Nana being silly.